you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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