Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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