I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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