it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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