when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
