she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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