No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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