Walk of Shame. In a state park.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
