Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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