How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Your penis caused this!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize