can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
