I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
