you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
