at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
