if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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