I love having hate sex.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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