i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
