We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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