Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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