Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
