no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
