When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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