i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
