My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
