i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
