lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize