Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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