i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
