i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
