the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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