$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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