After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
