This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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