I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
