yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
