I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
