Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
