My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
