whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
