have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
