As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
