That's intense
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I need water and some morals
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
