remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
