sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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