What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
