Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
