You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
