i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
