tell your sister to shave her snatch
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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