imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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