Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
