Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
