everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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