i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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