We named our party play list daddy issues
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
