Your face is a jimmy john
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
