just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
