and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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