your parents love me but you hate me
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
