Non-Jews are for practice
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
