she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize