So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
