Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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