I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
