im six kinds of drunk right now
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
