How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He told me they were just razor bumps!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
