TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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