I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize