Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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