She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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