awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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