Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
