that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
