just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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