Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
