I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
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